August 21, 2013

Take a deep breath and walk through the door

*Trying to think of something to write a post about.
My brain: "Uhh come now, you better write a post about your first day of Junior year and your first day at a public school, that's plenty worthy of a post, eh?"

Oh yeah, maybe I should talk about that.

A short history of my education: I home schooled while growing up. Until, like most homeschoolers, I turned must go to a school with people years old and I ventured out into the world, all the way to a small LDS Private school. I moved from there to an even smaller place that really was barely a school, but a place that remains, to this day, the school I usually miss the most. The year I spent there was perfect, the best teachers and friends I could have asked for. When that place closed due to it's barely making it, I moved to a larger, yet still only 1A private school, where I still didn't know who I was, nor how to open myself up to the friendship of strangers, so I hated my time there and left early. Then finally I found the first school that I stayed at longer than one school year, and I still love that place. It was a 2A charter school full of nerds, debaters, and Quidditch players who sometimes overshadowed all the normal, non stereo type kids that really did make up the school. But I had fantastic teachers, and now I have fantastic memories of my time there. Last spring I discovered that I had learned exactly what I was meant to learn there, so no longer having a reason to stay, I left. Which brings us up to now. Junior year plan: I'm back to my beginning-- homeschooling. Plus Seminary and Floral Design at the local high school. Plus an online graphic design course that I am excited out of my mind for. Plus lots of time for reading and writing and drawing and doing all the things that I love. Best of both worlds, to the max. I get time for everything I want to do, plus buddy time every other day. Perf.

That took a lot of time, this is why I tend to not explain my education to people haha. They just don't get it.

Today I found my way to a brand new class among thousands of people, and I'm feeling pretty dang accomplished.

The feeling there seems different. Like the way my Floral teacher seemed to view the room full of teenagers. He used the word stupid a lot. Never did he call us stupid straight out, but he told us repeatedly not to do anything stupid, and he used the word "stupid" to describe every negative action, which doesn't exactly go to express his confidence in us. I have never experienced that before-- having a teacher view every mistake or lack of foresight as stupidity, when usually mistakes simply represent something bigger going on with the kid, or simply humanness.

You would think with the amount of people smashed into that building that the amount of light would be crazy. You would think that when the amount of people at my new school is more than 8 times the amount of my last one, that the light would be multiplied as well, but it wasn't. How can so many people go so long without smiling? And how come they seem to view eye contact with strangers like saying He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's name out loud?

New Self Given Mission: smile at as many uncomfortable strangers as I can. Find the pockets of shininess and stick to those. Rock Junior year.