August 7, 2013

For free, come and get it.

I give out adventures, for free, on a regular basis. Some people accept them regularly, they count down the days until the next one, they tell me how much they love those weekly bits of something more than the abyss of normality. Others want to come, but life gets in the way-- jobs, lack of a form of travel, other plans. I wonder if those people realize they don't have to only have adventures on Thursdays... Other people never respond when I reach out to them, or they are constantly full of excuses. I don't mind if they don't come to Thursday Adventures, it just makes me sad-- to watch someone who seems to be afraid of adventure, afraid of meeting new people, afraid of being uncomfortable. People who are so stuck in their normal pattern of life that they refuse to take part in that "something more" even when it's being completely planned for them and handed out for free, to anyone who wants it.

I give out words, also for free. Some people tell me they love what I say, and even push the follower button, so they can read it all as soon as possible. Some people happen upon my words and say nice things, you're so profound, you're so talented, but they don't come back often. Most people never read what I say, and probably never will. There are plenty of words out there, some of them are read over and over again by person after person, my words aren't always. But I don't write for person after person, I write for myself, I write for my mom, I write for the small group of people who care, who read what I say and think I want to be friends with that girl.

I give out light, and you may have it, I just ask that you don't dim the light. Some people give me their light in return, and we both make each other brighter. Some people stick around until they find a little of light in themselves. Some people notice the light, and want to come closer, but they don't know how to respect it, and end up dimming it. I have to walk away from those people. Sometimes I try to stay around them too long, thinking more time will do the trick, that magically something will affect them and suddenly they will change. But really the longer I stay, the more light I lose, and sometimes it's hard to get back to the amount of light I had before. I'm learning to stick around the shiny people.

It's all free. Come and get it.